I recently had a realisation. I’m not a good person. I don’t mean to say that I do a lot of bad things, but what motivated this point is a conversation I had at a christian event. The main gist of was that the ceiling of just how much of a good person you are is far beyond what you can imagine. I don’t want to believe I’m a good person already, so I can put off giving to charity or doing some sort of service to humanity, because I have enough good karma points. No, I don’t think that is the right way to think about it, I should be going into every situation thinking that this is my chance to actually do something good.

There are a lot of good things that I do for sure, but I also also do some bad and I don’t think I reach the standard that I should be. Looking back at the things that I do, the parts of my personality that aren’t any good and need improvement, I realise that there is a lot of self improvement to be made.

One thing I realised is that I shouldn’t ever wish pain on anyone. If someone does something bad to me, that is because of their own ignorance, and I shouldn’t wait to just see them “punished” or be hopeful for karma to hurt them. I shouldn’t be envious of their lives, and I should be whole-heartedly happy for their experiences and life, as if it were my own. I realise that I have been very jealous of my friends sucesses especially where those areas in my life are not going the way I’d wanted.

I should always work hard and build great tools, but I shouldn’t think I’m better than others because of the tools I use and the work I put in.

Everyone’s the hero of their own journey. If someone does something wrong to me, I should deal with it appropriately, but I shouldn’t act out of vengence but rather of love, even if it is tough love. The same way a kind mother corrects the behaviour of her child. Correcting their mistakes is not so I can give back the pain they gave me. Its about ending the cycle of pain for them and others.

This is the philosophy that I want to grow in my life, and the direction I want my life to take.