The university experience is something that is incredibly social and incredibly isolating at the same time. You will never have more people you know, but so little who you can call your friends. You might have people you go to socials with, people you party or drink with, or people you study with. But are there people you share your troubles with and grow with? There are people in your life and then there are actual friends in your life. Here is an article about relationships.

Nobody is perfect

Do you like this person? Do they like you? Are you healthy for each other?

These questions should be able to distinguish between friend and not friend.

Also understand that you are not perfect, you have flaws, so how can you ask for others to be perfect?

How do you tell someone that you are struggling without making them feel like they are babysitting you

I think it’s deeply important to talk about your struggles. Because of our ego, we think that people would think less of you if you share your troubles. It’s a great service to listen to people’s hardship. It’s okay to not want to listen as much when you feel like your problems are not heard.

Give as much as you think is reasonable, then a little bit more. But not to the point where you feel like you are taken advantage of.

I have met people who I thought that I was helping them a lot more then they were helping me. Then they told me how much they felt like they were babysitting me.

It’s hard to discern who is giving more and who is taking in a relationship. Sometimes it’s better to just not keep track. I like my friends that talk to me and I mostly listen. I also like my other friends who don’t say a lot and I do most of the talking. Those are both completely fine versions of friendship.

I believe that you can tell when a friendship is toxic and from there you need to see if they actually want to be your friend or not. If someone tells you that they don’t want to talk to you, you can’t talk to them no matter how much you want to talk to them. And if someone implicitly acts like they don’t want to talk to you, try to ascertain if they actually do want to talk to you, and if they don’t unfortunately that means you can’t.

You have to be the one planning events, reaching out, and putting more of the effort in

It kind of sucks that it is this way, but it is. If you feel the friendship is dying, then you have to water the flower, and try and be the one reaching out.

Do you like this person? Do they like you? Are you healthy for each other?