I am a deep thinker. I spend a lot of time talking to myself about topics and building ideas in my head. One of my deep thoughts was a worry that my parents might not be able to provide for me as they reach old age. What would be my regrets when that happens? I do want to spend more time with them, so I decided not to live out for university, as well as the fact that they keep me grounded to my long term goals rather than short term pleasures.

I realised that all of my petty arguments with them are meaningless when I consider the grand scheme of things. The little things like being mad at them for always telling me to do things around the house like chores or tasks for them, getting upset about my parents cooking or at their controlling behaviours. This may be something that is a valid critique, but at the same time, just because people mistreat you, doesn’t mean that you have to go below your own standards, especially if they aren’t doing things to intentionally hurt you.

I do feel like parents often believe that they “own” their children, but at a certain age I think parents need to be more like friends and not the children’s boss. We all have things we wish we did in our lives, and often when we can’t achieve them so we try to make sure our children achieve them. But our own goals may not always be in line with our children’s goals, and they should live their own lives, and not a life that we want.

Being a parent is hard, and I’m not one, so a lot of this is speculation. But I feel like the responsibility and respect that you should give a child is often not given. It’s not something that just comes magically but requires morals and determination. You can forget that a child will remember almost everything you do and you have a deep responsibility to not hurt the child. No parent is perfect but you always want to strive for more. I can learn to be a better parent by being taught by my parents. I’m not a single person, I’m the work of a long line of ancestors, many that predate humanity, all so that I can play my part in the symphony that is life.